26.2 Strength, Determination and sheer Willpower

It has now been 3.5 yrs since I had my mercury amalgams removed. I remember walking into my appointment and my dentist's practice room was up a flight of stairs. I struggled to get up those stairs and the dental assistant looked at me with a strange look in her eyes. I didn't realize at the time how much stairs were a struggle (as well as everything else) until I began to heal and everything started to become easier and that's when I really understood how much life was a struggle back then, how debilitating mercury poisoning really is.

The recovery is as subtle as the mercury poisoning, slowly day by day you feel a little better. Sure there are some days you feel worse but overall its a slow progression upwards, back towards health.

When someone has chronic fatigue syndrome they talk a lot about running a marathon (26.2 miles) would be easier than getting out of bed. I have read many blogs and this saying comes up time and time again. So its only natural if you like running and you cure your chronic fatigue to put this saying to the test!

A marathon takes courage, strength, determination. Its more of a mental challenge to keep going especially at mile 20+ when your legs are hurting and you want to cry cos they hurt. If you walk they hurt more, if you keep running they hurt. You smile through the pain because you have a goal ..... to finish... to become a marathoner. To finish the race is more about mental strength than anything else. You trained hard and long and you were dedicated to keep training to reach your goal.

The mental part was easy for me because I have actually been training myself to be mentally strong my whole life. When I was 2 yrs old I had a car accident which I only vaguely remembered and I never associated it with my severe shoulder pain of unknown cause. When I unknowingly got poisoned with mercury at 13 I then developed chronic fatigue by the time I was 17 and my family called me lazy because I would sleep 14+ hrs a day and still be exhausted. I learned to ignore my suffering and carry on with an extreme level of determination. No-one had a clue how much I would have to tell myself to get up and get going, how everyday was a constant battle against my fatigue. The fatigue is deep within your bones they ache, it is like having flu and a hangover everyday of your life. I kept the suffering all inside due to the bullying I got from my immediate family. In a way I am grateful that they bullied me, they taught me how to be strong, how to pick myself up and with a lot of determination to just do it.

So is running a marathon easier than chronic fatigue. Yes. But that shows you how debilitating chronic fatigue is and the name of the disease does not do justice to the people going through it. A marathon is not easy its an amazing achievement. Getting up everyday with chronic fatigue is an amazing achievement.

I thank all my supporters, my husband, my true friends, my run club and the mercury detox support group. They encourage, motivate and keep me focused. Thank you for filling my new mercury free life with such positivity.

On November 27th I finished in 4:48:53 and at mile 26.1 I am still looking strong.